Sunday, July 12, 2009

Confused, maybe?

Am I weird with coping in loss/mourning/grief/whatever? Because I seriously - I mean this as in, seriously, absolutely, totally, wholly - don't feel like Kiki's gone/departed/passed or anything. Well knowing she's around in spirit is one thing, but then feeling her presence is another.

I feel like nothing ever happened to Kiki, just like she put on a huge invisibility cloak and that's why I can't see her or hear her but life goes on as normal. Really I feel like she's always around the house, I know when she's with my parents and when she's not at home, I can actually hear things and feel her poking me when she wants to be annoying at night and prevent me from sleeping right. It's so strange, but I feel so at ease.


But then again, of course that's because she's here, isn't she? Mind and soul, just missing the body. It's nice knowing that Kiki's around. I just wouldn't feel right without my sister, although Gab thinks that I'm starting to act more and more like Kiki so quickly. Like I said, we're closer than we care to admit xD

Oh dear, Kiki. I do miss you... Well, your body, at least. Goodness, that sounds wrong. But you know what I mean, Graceykins. (Please let me sleep properly tonight, Kiki, even though I called you that.) <3